Step-by-step guide to fix unhealthy father daughter relationship
If you want to know how emotionally stable a girl is, try asking about her dad. A father-daughter relationship is key to a woman's happiness and life. For many, the new world of common interest between father and daughter creates a common platform for a better and closer relationship. But what happens . Every girl needs a father. And if her biological or stepfather won't do, she needs a father figure. [The latter can be an uncle, a godfather, a significantly older.
Not excuse them, but put them into perspective.
How To Fix The Damage From A Bad Father/Daughter Relationship
A friend once told me she purposely avoided marrying anyone she thought might become an alcoholic, like her dad. What she didn't realize was that her father had other equally serious character flaws that she didn't fully understand until she had been on her own and then married for a while. After the war, he worked at a Jeep factory, and at one point he worked for the Post Office.
Then he became a salesman for a number of companies. The alcoholism really influenced his career, and his work ethic lessened every year. I never respected him much while I was growing up, although I always knew he was funny. Then, when I attended a funeral several years ago at Arlington National Cemetery, the young Marines were so elegant and strong and disciplined.
For the first time I was overwhelmed with pride for my father. At some point, he'd been one of these guys, and he tried to do what was right. Who knows what changed for him.
A New York City police officer, her father had never shied away from hard work. He worked his way up through the ranks, studying hard and taking written promotion exams for each level, at the same time he attended college and was actively involved in raising his four children, one of whom had Down syndrome. When I asked her if she thought her relationship with her dad influenced her choice of mates she said it absolutely did: I witnessed my parents' loving relationship and their ability to go through life together, and that was a model for me.
So, it isn't just the relationship between me and my dad, but my observation of the relationship between my parents that really influenced my decision about who I wanted to marry.
Women also tend to keep quiet about difficulties at home while they were growing up. It's not that families have a conversation about doing this, but women sense that they're not supposed to tell. The result is that these girls grow up ashamed, thinking that whatever transpired was their fault -- and decades later, they're in writing classes and various forms of therapy, coming to terms with their feelings.
As a writer, teacher, daughter, and newly empty-nester in search of my future, I've learned a lot about self-esteem and of the power of love. It's not your fault. You were just a kid. All kids deserve to be loved and protected.The daughter has been subjected to sexual harassment by her lunatic father for a long time
Don't blame yourself for what your father did or didn't do. Write about it, talk about it -- turn it into art. By sharing our wounds we open up our hearts and healing happens. Pick that up, it belongs to you! Now take your thoughts back to some thing you did for someone. At any time in your life. Remember and note good times that you had as a child; remember times that you were useful to others. Re-establish your worth Take your positive childhood experiences, memories and achievements to understand your worth and abilities.
Start to re-establish yourself from those childhood times all through to your now. You will find that many of the great childhood abilities and mannerisms you had have survived the weather. You can still do great stuff and think great thoughts! Things your father said or did then are, luckily, in the past. You are now grown up and in a position to replace his words with your positive thoughts. To counter his negative actions with your positive ambitions. If you start feeling good about yourself, that is very much in order.
Promise yourself that things will change, because you will make them change. There is a divine power given to us by the Creator, free for our use in our proclamations.
Call upon that divine power and declare your future shall not be determined by the shadows of the past. This list of shadows is your new war fronts. Remember you have the ammunition to destroy them, so list them boldly.
Strategise for the war Prepare for the fight. Every change must be a result of strategy. What exactly you need to do, the knowledge you need to gain, the tools you need to use. For example, if you are an alcoholic, you need to know which rehabilitation centres are near you, what they do and where they are.
How To Fix The Damage From A Bad Father/Daughter Relationship | HuffPost
If you hate yourself or how you look because your dad once said you are ugly, you need to find inspirational groups and counselors that can put that behind you. Arm yourself Engage with the tools and knowledge that you need. Seek the views of other people about various aspects of life, and compare those to what your dad made you believe. Arm yourself with a prayer. Nothing can deliver spiritual and mental rejuvenation and freedom like a connection with the Almighty.
Nothing fashioned against you will succeed if you believe and pray about your redemption.
Start taking the decisive steps to bring down the unhealthy father daughter relationship; knock down the shadows. Are you ugly because he said so? Prove the shadows wrong; get a makeover. Get into a splendid hairstyle and admire yourself on the mirror.
Have you been drinking too much? Discard the lot in a dustbin — even unopened cans and bottles. Do you hate him? Feel him — see his past, his point of view, his vulnerability; he is human. Smile about his strengths and cast to the wind his weaknesses. For yourself and for your dad. Gain control As you fight the war, take control of your circumstances and make new decisions.
You are your own person; you have your own brain, your own body, your own spirit — exercise your individuality. Step out; the way you want, not the way you were influenced. Define your independent destiny Now go on, love yourself and believe in your unique destiny. Associate with those who bring joy and positivity in your life.
Avoid the nay sayers, in fact, cut them off! Be bold to face disappointments and betrayals, because they will be there. Open up to different opinions, because they will come. Be confident that you can attract good people and good things, because they exists.